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Survival Tip #5: Don't underestimate the power of rituals & new practices
Hello new friends and old,
Before I dive in, I’d like to share some exciting news: a bitch is officially employed! After 10 grueling months of taking Ls in this job market, I landed a job that I’m excited about.
Since I refuse to participate in the LinkedIn-ification of our precious Substack, I’ll let you stalk that platform for more deets, but in the meantime, just know I am happy and feel like the windy road I took to get here was worth the tears and anguish.
In the last few months, I took to nannying and doing legal contract work to survive capitalism. While this hustle was not new —I was juggling four gigs this summer too— the shift in my ~energy~ and confidence definitely was. I spent the first six months of 2025 feeling self-conscious and insecure. I felt ashamed of choosing out of a stable legal career when there is plenty of need for immigration lawyers during these ~unprecedented times~, but the end of the summer and eclipse season ushered in a new IDGAF-ness I have been cherishing and allowing to guide my decision-making as of late.
My last post was about how mutual aid helped me survive my first few months of unemployment in our zippy descent into fascism, but what I left out and want to pick up here is a brief summary of other practices that also kept me afloat. In no particular order, I present a short list of what kept me sane (or helped ground me after a menty b, of which there were plenty):
The Artist’s Way
I was skeptical of this woo woo white woman, but I have to say that Julia Cameron’s spiritual approach to unleashing our inner creative worked for me. I especially appreciated her exercises on unpacking who we think God is, what our limiting beliefs are around making a living as a creative, and the concept of abundance. Not to get all witchy, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I landed this job in the midst of all this inner work I was doing around identifying and cultivating my gifts, being explicit about what I want, and trusting that the right opportunities would come after naming these. I haven’t been as diligent about the artist dates, but the journaling and reflection exercises opened up new portals in my brain I didn’t know existed.
Nannying
Spending time with and caring for Iman (a triple earth sign and a capricorn sun like yours truly) taught me to savor simple (and sometimes chaotic) mornings. She and I would start our day on her designated drawing rug, doodling in her notebooks and talking about the colors, and then go for a walk around the neighborhood where she’d point out notable landmarks (poo poo! fishees, airplanes), passersby (BIG TRUCK! woof woof!) and activities people were doing (behbeh cry, music). Even though I am solidly in the #ChildlessByChoice camp, getting to see the city through her eyes and watching her brain grow as we engaged in our little rituals made me better understand why someone would choose to parent. These tiny tyrants force you to be present and zero in on life’s priorities (eating, sleeping, resting, and frolicking/wandering). My world view widened and has been filled with endless wonder thanks to my mornings with her <3
Playing with my ~aesthetic~
Like most femmes and AFAB people, I have struggled with my body and ideas of appropriate femininity for as long as I can remember. I grew up resenting the gendered stereotypes I was expected to adhere to as a Mexican cis woman (for good reasons!), but in the process of rejecting and questioning these, my resentment morphed into internalized misogyny (oops). I was a proud tomboy. I played sports, hated the color pink, and especially hated anything that could be considered “girly.” This internalized misogyny robbed me of the simple joys of dressing up and experimenting with my style. In the last year, however, I gave myself permission to play with makeup and experiment with clothes on my own terms. I am still healing my inner pick-me, but I’ve learned that slapping some lashes on her while blasting Charli xcx and Dua Lipa keeps her quiet. There is power and creativity in adorning oneself when its done on your own terms, and the practice of getting ready/putting together a cute outfit is one that has helped me feel confident even as my inner world (and the outer one) is in shambles.
Snapping pics of nyc corners
This practice is in part inspired by one of the many exercises in The Artist’s Way, but it took on its own life. I don’t know what it is about corners of apartment buildings and houses in NYC that has me in a chokehold, but I have loved stopping during my little neighborhood jaunts to capture the colors, cloud formations, and greenery emerging from or around people’s homes. Going outside to metaphorically touch grass after doomscrolling or taking job application Ls often meant taking a walk (cause it’s free) and experiencing unexpected moments of joy.
2025 has been a doozy (for many of us for many reasons). While I am closing out my unemployment chapter, I know there are too many people who are still navigating these choppy and unforgiving job hunt waters. I hope that whatever you are experiencing or navigating in this moment, you can find moments to experience connection, create new rituals, and find beauty in the unexpected.
With love and LOLs,
Denia
😍😍love the corner pics